Feeding Friendsy

Myspace, I wish I could quit you. No, really.

Today, I did something that I just haven’t cared enough about to get around to: I attempted to delete my Myspace account. And by “attempt” I mean that Myspace wouldn’t let me. When I joined, back in like 2005 (which is late by Myspace standards), I used my university email account. That address has since been deleted—the university gives you 6 months after you graduate, then they remove the account altogether.

So, today, when I tried to surgically remove this Myspace mole from the face of the internets it wouldn’t work. It sent a “deletion confirmation” email to my university address. Fine, I’ll change my contact email on Myspace and we’ll be done with it. Not fine, Myspace sent a change of address confirmation email to my now defunct university email account. Which I can’t access anymore. No confirmation, no delete-y Myspace.

So, now, I’m fucking stuck with this thing. For life. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s still there after I’m dead. And I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only person in this predicament. If anyone has any suggestions, let’s hear ‘em.

Krishnas park like assholes.

I’m not an angry person. I’m not. But if you know me, there’s one thing in the world that I can’t stand: Parking. It’s the bane of my automotive existence. I HATE it. Especially around my house. There’s never a spot on the street and, to make the shit-uation even worse, Wednesdays and Thursdays are street cleaning days so you can’t park on half the streets from 8am to 10am, which means you have to get up early and move your car or become the owner of a bright, shiny $60 parking ticket. Nothing makes you want to punch someone’s dick off more than realizing you’ve overslept and will now be donating your hard earned money to the pay check of your local parking enforcement officer.

So, why are there so few spots around my house, you ask? Well, I live down the block from a Hare Krishna temple. So on any given day, at any given hour, they’re down there throwing some sort of smelly event that attracts peace-loving Lexus drivers by the dozens. And to make matters worse, there’s NO parking lot for that place. So, they park their multitudes of luxury sedans and shitty RV’s on the roads in the neighborhood, then reverently walk down the street to whatever crazy Maha Mantra mumbling, vegan food consuming, no shoe wearing celebration they’ve invented for that particular day. Then they proceed to hang out for hours on end, while I drive around the fucking city like a lunatic, searching for a parking spot. All the while, my rage percolates like a dry ice bomb. The worst part is that they’re so consumed with praying and being calm that they’re totally oblivious to the fact that they are generating massive waves of anger and frustration throughout the community. Ironic how their pursuit of tranquility is creating such murderous hostility.

Eventually, one of them ends up leaving, speeding off to their Bikram Yoga class or PETA rally, and I get a spot. But by then, it’s too late. The damage has been done, and I’m in hate with each and every Hari Krishna guy/family at that temple. Of course, I have to walk through their peace bonanza to get to my house. At which point, I’m inevitably asked by some bald-headed, orange toga wearing guy with a ponytail if I’d like a vegan cookie. NO! I don’t want your fucking vegan cookie! I want your parking spot, asshole! Quit celebrating peace and build a fucking parking structure. THEN I’ll have one of your cookies, because as much as I hate to admit it, they look delicious and I’m starving after hours of searching for a goddamn parking spot. And while you’re at it, what’s that mashed potato stuff I saw that kid eating? I want some of that too.

UPDATE: I know I shouldn't revel in this news, but it serves them right. The only bad thing is that now they REALLY don't have money to build a parking structure.

K-SWISS spot is out in the world

A little shameless self-promotion here... the K-SWISS spot has launched! I'm just posting the :60, though most of you will see the :30 all over ESPN, MTV, Comedy Central, Adult Swim... There's way more to the campaign, we made a bunch of :10's for TV that will help blow the voice out a lot more. I'll post those later. Oh, and print too. There's that.

As with everything we make here, this spot plays a big part in the strategy we're employing for K-SWISS. We're setting the table for lots of things to come. They're a rad brand, willing to have as much fun as we are. So, this spot is designed to get you thinking about and, hopefully, liking K-SWISS again. I think it does that. Needless to say, we're really excited about K-SWISS. Can't wait to show everything else we have in the works! Stay tuned for face-meltingness to follow this campaign.

Fake Craig's Post--episode 8

Short, simple, stupid. All in good fun, people. LINK

(click image for larger view)

 

Got a response...

"Sorry that happens. It’s not just white people though. I lived in Japan on and off for years and it’s one of the first questions people ask me when we start talking. By people, I mean black, white, brown. Just chill and roll with it, there’s too much ‘stupid’ in the word to bristle about this…it’s kinda funny if you look at it a certain way, use it to your advantage…"

I feel bad when I get genuine responses like this. Oh, wait, no I don't.