My friend Megan passed along this insane back and forth she had with her current landlord. Before you read it, a little background for context: Chris, the landlord, gave Megan a discounted rent rate because he needed to fill the apartment. Then, Chris asked Megan to move to another apartment in the complex so Chris could have her apartment. She agreed. So, now, Megan lives in a new apartment and Chris lives in her old one, in the same complex. This switch happened about a month ago. Up until this point, there were no issues. Rewind to the morning of Jan. 26th. Megan gets a surprise text from her landlord...
Chris: I want my fucking keys back today along with all my fucking lightbulbs
Chris: Nevermind I got my lightbulbs back if u have a problem with that u can move out and fuck off!!!
Chris: And no I know your boyfriend took them the first time also
Megan: Whoaaa what the hell is going on?
Chris: U know what? Now that I think about, I want u out!
Megan: Chris, what are you talking about?
Chris: Ask your fucking boyfriend about it and if he doesn’t come clean with me u r outta here immediately! If he fessed up, I’ll consider letting you stay. Call him first and find out for yourself. Just remember u can’t pull this shit off on me!!
Megan: you’re just raging on me and I’m confused, what the hell did I do? I didn’t take ur bulbs.. I’ve tried to help u doing ur whole ordeal and now this? If u want me out for some reason bc u need someone to move in or something just be honest.. But freaking out over lights I don’t even know anything about isn’t fair
Chris: Plus I can get fucking $1,200 for that place. I’ve giving u a break and this is the shit I have to deal with?!!
Chris: Call your boyfriend and ask him for a honest answer. And dove give ne that shit I’ve fucking helped u just as much if nit more than you’ve helped me!
Megan: Yes, I’m not saying you haven’t I’ve always appreciated all you’ve done. Please just stop yelling at me.. I know we got some bulbs at home depot but I will find out if he took any from the house. I don’t like being threatened, it sucks.. I’ll start looking for a new place and you can start the pain of looking for a tenant.
Chris: The point Megan is that you or your boyfriend are coming in here without permission and stealing my fucking lightbulbs and then denying it! What the fuck else did this motherfucker steal from me???
Chris: It won’t be painful. I’ll fill in a sec.
Megan: Whoa. First, it was still out lease when we left. And if anyone took your lightbulbs I didn’t know about it. Cool, well I will be out as soon as I find a new place.. No more then 30 days.
Chris: It’s really sad that now I have to go and change my locks because I have a thief.
Megan: It sucks it had to be like this chris, you didn’t need to freak out on me. And u don’t have a thief that is just nutty to even say.
Chris: The lease was month to month. And I still haven’t gotten an answer weather you boyfriend came in here and took my lightbulbs? I’m waiting, he’ll probable lie to u anyway. Sad that you r getting kicked out because your boyfriend won’t come clean. Oh well that how liers and thieves operate
Megan: I haven’t got a hold of him.. We are both working.
Megan: I know the lease is month to month.. I still get 30 days notice.
Chris: You may think it’s nutty but lightbulbs don’t just grow legs and walk out of here! I really liked you too Megan but this crosses the trust boundry. No u may not know anything about this, but your boyfriend does. It’ll be interesting to see what he tells you. Just remember I am a very foregiving person, as long as I hear the truth and get a face to face apology.
Chris: And yes u still do get thirty days. If u want more then u better get your boyfriend to fess up!!
Chris: Let him know too if I catch him in here, I’m going to shoot him
Megan: Whoa chris. U need to chill.
Chris: I’m sorry but that is how I’m wired. I can be a fucking nightmare.
Megan: okay okay.. well I have to work now.
Chris: Just to let u know I may hide here with my car parked somewhere else with the lights here off waiting, hoping for someone to come in
Megan: To your house? Chris. No one has stepped foot into your house after I moved out. If anyone took the lightnulbs it was when I was still living there. So please just stop with these nonsense.
Chris: If that is the story u r sticking to then I’m giving u ur 30 notice now.
Megan: I’m not sticking to any story.. If he took them then I will apologize and say I’m sorry for confusion and sorry we did that.. Either way tho, I’ll move out bc I don’t feel comfortable of safe with the kind of threats and anger you are displaying over this. It’s scaring me.
Chris: that is probably best
Chris: I’m sorry that u r scared, but ur boyfriend ducked with the wrong person. We need to settle up on money as well today
Megan: No one is fucking with u chris, that’s what ur not getting.
Chris: I just need my money and we’ll call it a day.
Megan: Yep, I think I’m going to try and move my stuff out in the next day or so.
Chris: Get’er done!
Megan: Hi chris, I’d like to settle exactly what I owe you and what you owe me now so I can leave u and check and you the same. I owe you $875 for January rent. I spent $245 on paint. And I will pay for the mirror bc I never told u it had a crack in it when we moved in and the crack got bigger when I was living there. So can you write me a check for my deposit minus those things and put under your mat and I will leave check under there too? Or however you want to exchange?
Chris: I need the receipt for the paint or I cannot credit u. $245 sound high to me. I want to see the itemized receipt before u can issue u credit as we had discussed many time before
Chris: I will also be deducting the 5 lightbulbs that were taken by your boyfriend when u were in Hawaii. That comes out an additional $25.
Megan: No problem at all. I have the receipts. The painters told me I hadn’t bought enough paint and told me exactly how much more I needed to get. Then they had lots left over.. Which I’ve stored under the sink if u ever want to make touch ups in the apt or use for something else.
Chris: Fine just give them to me
Megan: Chris, if my boyfriend took the lightbulbs, it was not when I was in Hawaii, it was the weekend I moved from 410 to 408. No one has stepped foot in 410 since Sunday the 17th, a day before we agreed to have everything out of there.
Chris: Don’t put anything under any mats it’s supposed to rain today
Megan: But I will pay 25 because I’d rather do that then continue arguing about it. But I want to make sure you understand that no one was in your home after the 17th. And I would like to ensure you do not go into 408 until I move out again. I will not raise issue that you did this morning without my permission, all you did was take the bulbs correct?
Chris: Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. I know that he went back in again yesterday or the day before yesterday and took more but you r on your way out anyway so be it.
Chris: I’m changing my locks now so he can’t come in anymore.
Megan: Chris, that is 100 percent not true. He absolutely did not. I can assure you.
Chris: I’m not even going to answer that question.
Megan: Why do you possibly think that?
Chris: Who the fuck do u think I am? I don’t do that shit only your boyfriend does
Megan: That’s what you’ve been accusing this entire time? I had no idea you thought he went in this weekend, I can assure you he did not.
Chris: Well then y did or he has the woll pulled over your eyes as well.
Megan: No on has anything over my eyes, you are the one who has it all wrong. Why do u think someone took your lightbulbs this weekend? I thought we were talking about the weekend I moved out. Not me or my boyfriend stepped foot in your place. That’s just insane.
Chris: Well I guess I’m insane then and you will be gone in a few days and we never had to see or talk to oneanother for the rest of our lives! Sound good to you?
Megan: I would prefer to sort everything with u via mail or mail boxes, I’m not comfortable to see you in person so please respect that when I come to move my things out okay?
Chris: Absolutely, but I’m not comfortable giving u ur sec. deposit back until after I’ve see the apt. U could really damage the place and screw me. Or your boyfriend might. Please respect my wishes.
Megan: Chris, my boyfriend never entered your home while you were living there and I would never damage a thing. I want to be done with this more then anything else. You have threatened my boyfriend in a way that could get you in a lot of trouble and entered my house without permission. So let me move my things without confrontation and part ways.
Chris: And as a matter of fact that is the way the transaction should have been done. You need to pay me $1000 now for the month of Jan. If u r out of here on Jan 31, then I will check the apt for damages to be assessed. When everything checks out I will refund u ur sec dep., reimbursement for paint and materials. Minus the lightbulbs and settle up.
Chris: So get that check for $1,000 to me asap! Thank you
Megan: The month of January was 875 as we agreed before I moved.
Chris: Fine, send me the check today