The Mega-Shocker and the Shock-a-Trois

So, I thought I was super clever when I "invented" the Super Shocker (pictured above) at work the other day. It's like the regular shocker, only with way more shock (ie. fingers). After a few days of making jokes about it, I looked if up on Urban Dictionary and, sure enough, some other asshole already had the brilliant idea. So, Rob Teague and I took it to the next level...

World, I give you: The Mega Shocker!

That's fuckin' right. The Mega Shocker is just like the Super Shocker, only performed by two guys. Now, I know what you're probably thinking, "But, Matt, why do you want to perform the Mega Shocker with another guy?" Good question. The answer is: I don't. Which is why I also invented the Shock-a-Trois! (pictured below)

Yes, the Shock-a-Trois can only be performed by a male and a female. To protect the identity of the girl in this picture, I will refer to her as "Shmonica." Now I bet you're probably thinking, "But, Matt, why are you thinking of things like this while you're at work?" Good question. The answer is: My job rules and I'm drinking beer at my desk.

Well, there you have it. Perform the Shocker trilogy at your own risk. These are still in their beta phase and have yet to be tested on humans... or anything, really. But if you happen to get a chance to use one of these, make her call you Matt. God bless.

Comments

[greg heath]

I'm trying this out tonight!

[rob]

if you somehow make any money on this, i don't now how, but if you do i want a cut. I also think that we should find some humans that would be willing to be testers of our new product/service.

[Ri]

Perfect!

[Mark Lovlien]

Umm. Matt, I'm so happy to see your creative mind is still being tested to the max...

[Matt]

Dad, it doesn't work on guys. Sorry.

Rob, good idea.

Ri, I know.

Mark, I push my brain to the limits. And then I push it over the limits and this is what happens.