“Love at first sight” is one of the world’s stupidest sayings. It’s a rallying cry for all the hopeless romantics. For example:
Open on a very affectionate couple sitting at a table in a coffee shop. They’re sitting next to each other, rather than across from each other.
EVA: This has been the best 23 days of my life, Chris.
CHRIS: I know, Eva. Me too. It’s like I was walking around in a daze before we met.
EVA: It’s like, I finally came alive when we both grabbed for the same cart at Target that day.
CHRIS: Just think, it if wasn’t for that cart, we never would have met.
EVA: I don’t even want to think about that.
CHRIS: Yeah, me neither.
BOTH: (simultaneously) Love at first sight!
CHRIS: OH MY GOD, we said that at the same time!
EVA: We always do that!
CHRIS: I fucking love you.
EVA: I fucking love you too.
They launch into a gratuitous three minute make out session. Chris grabs Eva’s boob. The patrons of the coffee shop throw up on their Macbooks.
Ok, I admit, at times in my life, I have been an evangelist for “love at first sight.” I thought it was possible to look at someone and fall head over heels in retard love. But I’m sorry, that’s just not how it goes. No matter how much you like the other person, it is NOT love, at first. You're in lust, buddy. Here is a super scientific chart that I’ve developed on how you tell the difference:
I just read a national survey that says that 57% of women believe in love at first sight. 48% of men believe in it, too (all of whom were probably standing next to their wives or girlfriends when responding). So roughly half of all people in the US believe that true love occurs at the precise moment you lay eyes on a person, even without exchanging so much as a “Hi, my name is Angelo.” Is it any wonder why HALF of all marriages end in divorce? I’m not one of them smart people, but if half of all adults believe in love at first sight and half of all marriages end in divorce, then… hm…
Stop trying to make love happen at first sight, people. Let it do its thing. Have a fight first. Afterward, ask yourself if you still like that person. If you don’t, then run away. If yes, then maybe you're on to something. But then again, what do I know?